writing...

the time has come...

I haven't updated in a while so I thought I would do a small entry.

I feel I have come on so much since my last post where I admitted I still loved him. For some reason, through nothing in particular, I have managed to accept he is a part of my past now and that is it. I feel I have closed the book, I feel quite at peace with it all and he does not exist in my head 24/7 like before. There are times when I will look round in a certain place to see if I can see him but I do this just wanting to see a friendly face rather than think of all the possible ways that could lead to me being back with him. I have my own life to focus on now, I need to do things for me and work on my anxiety and panic attacks and having him going round and round my brain did not help. So I have shut that door and therefore I have one less stress to spend my days worrying over. My mental health is more important than my broken heart for him. I know there will be someone else out there for me and even though it appears that everyone else can move on and date and get with someone much quicker than me; I know I will get what I deserve eventually. I am an inpatient person haha so this does sometimes annoy me however I just then focus my mind back on making myself a better person.