long time no speak...

Well it has been a while, and I guess this is a good thing that I have not been dragged back onto here to express how I feel, to help rid that lump in my throat and that pain in my heart. I have been living my life, I have not allowed someone like my ex to rule my mind any more and although I still have anxiety in almost every aspect of my life I feel I am doing much better. The best news, there could potentially be someone else to enter my life. I say potentially because we have a lot to sort out and get through before anything could possibly happen but the feelings are there. The butterflies are back, the thoughts of someone all day and wanting to tell them everything are back and I find myself day dreaming about things he has said. I am happy and I hope that with this new guy it can go somewhere one day but I am not going to rush anything. What's meant to be will find a way. I am alot more open and honest this time, my ex has taught me the importance of that and I will not hold back my feelings as I have done in the past, there is no loss to telling someone how you feel even if you do feel stupid for a while. Yes it is embarrassing but it could also be so so worth it. So here is to a the next chapter in my life, and to everyone else I hope you all find some sort of happy ending. My book is still being written, but 2 and a bit years down the line and I am finally finding a reason to believe in love again. It does exist.