today I revisit the past...

I am battling my emotions right now as I am looking after my friends house and the last time I did this, he was with me. It was around Halloween and he was working but he left me a carved pumpkin on the roof of my car outside her house, it was carved with I LOVE YOU. It was amazing. So sitting here now I just think of the time we spent together here, how he kept me company and stayed here when he was working rather than going back to his own house. I have tried so hard today to distract myself and not get upset and so far I have done okay, the thoughts are there however I am trying to be strong and not keep dwelling on this, something which my brain seems to enjoy. I have resisted texting him, as much as I want to (any excuse) to tell him where I am and remember this and remember that etc. But that is not what he wants to hear, like what if he is with someone and I send him that. It will not be well received and he will just think why is she doing this. Hmmmm I will get through this and I will not text him, I will just sit and remember the good times I got to spend with him here. If only I could guarantee these memories will never go or fade away.