full circle, and it all comes back...

I miss him so much, I feel like I have come round full circle and it makes me feel rotten inside. I am feeling like this because someone else I have been talking to has just all of a sudden gone quiet and I have no idea why, and this has just made all the feelings I have for him come running back. I know I shouldn't compare and I think I have done well most of the time however now I can't help it. I feel I have grown so much as a person and I want to show him how much I have and how far I have come along, how I have seen the errors in my ways and how I still have the deepest feelings for him. I just want to see him, talk to him and be in his company. I miss him so so much, and even though in the end it all went wrong I can't help but ignore that. He is such a good guy but like all of us he is broke in a way he doesn't want to fix. I need to realise this, I need to keep telling myself that it was not meant to be but apart of me will always want him back and I can't even deny that. Hope is a killer, I wish I could turn my back to it but I can't. What's meant to be will find a way, I do believe this and I hope this is what brings us back eventually when we have grown into more stronger people. I love him, and I know I am hurting myself by clinging on or at least keeping him in my heart but I don't know anything else and I'm not sure I want to. I am a broken person because of him, and no matter how hard I try to build myself back up, he is cemented in between the bricks and I will always carry him with me.