a work in progress...

You know what, I am not over him, there I said it. I know I thought I was but I clearly am not. Do not get me wrong, I have moved on in a way, I have moved on in the sense of I know me and him are not going to work, he has moved on and is with someone and I accept that. I have not moved on in any way though in that I still love him, unfortunately my heart is still well and truly in love with the boy who broke it 2 years ago. I felt like I needed to get this off my chest as I hope it might help how I feel. I think I am repressing so much emotion towards him that it is coming out in other ways in my life. I do not talk to my friends about him anymore because it is old news and I have moved on from sending the letter. It is just them pesky feelings that remain. I do not think I will ever get closure like I have done with this other guy in the past, it took me a long time with him but it took me to meet my now ex before I could fully move on. However now I am really struggling to move on, I am struggling to make an effort in with anyone else and I cannot recall the number of times that I have nearly called another guy his name, oops. I don't like that I still have this love for him, I do not enjoy the fact that my heart is still holding a flame for him, I know it is stopping me from really moving on and meeting someone but I honestly cannot shift the feeling. I guess I am still a work in progress, and I know I have come a long way already so the full recovery must soon be on the horizon. I just miss him, I miss us and I miss the way he made me feel. I know I will get that when I meet the next person in my life but for now it does still hurt. So if you are feeling like you are holding on or in denial at your moving on, then lets get together and say that it is okay for us to feel like this, this person was a big part of our lives and we all move on in different ways. If we want to be the snails in the race then so bit, when we finally take that last step to getting over them we will be so much more stronger for it. So here is to the snails, the one's whose broken hearts rule their lives until a prince can come along and slay our demons. Until then...