I guess you will always have a spell on me...

So I started a blog on another website which has now crashed so the plan to transfer everything over from that one in an order has just been ruined. Therefore I am typing this to get it off my chest and then I will edit it later when I can actually access and get my posts off it.

So this will not make much sense as it is a continuation from a story that will follow but still;

I dreamt of him the other night and as usual it was a dream which involved us getting back together again. As usual it involved some form of convincing but I can't remember exactly what it was, and for some reason we were on a bed when I was telling him everything. Then eventually he did choose to try again and he just held me close, kissed me and said that he had missed this. Dreams ay, they play with your mind even more.
Usually when I dream of him it's because I had been thinking about him in the upset ways I still do, but this time I hadn't. Yes I couldn't get him off my mind that day but it was more like a thought that was at the back of the head, but if I ignored it, it wouldn't come to the surface and I could just have it there nestled at the back of my mind. So this dream was a bit out the blue, and because it didn't involve any argument I woke up feeling happy and quite content. In the past I would wake up really upset and feel like my heart was breaking all over again but I guess this might be a sign that I am very slowly moving on, it didn't upset me.

Since then though I have obviously not been able to keep him nestled at the back of my mind and he has ruled my thoughts. I've even spoke about him in conversation and felt happy being able to do that. What is going on with me ha....why do I obsess and fixate over things, it definitely makes it so much harder for me to move on. Who knows what the future holds but I do want to go and see a psychic and see what they have to say. Yes I believe in them things, well the good ones, there are a lot of fakes out there. I guess I'm just hoping some comfort will come for it, I always have hope, it's my downfall in situations like this, with the hope I have I manage to build all these magical situations of what could happen, and what I want to happen so I think this is why I get so upset still sometimes, because nothing is coming true. I am a daydreamer.

Anywho for now this will be it, I just hope I can transfer my other blogs over.
x